all these are my reflections for pv!im too lazy to filter and i don't think there's anything to hide, so here it is:

from kaye:Hello Val! (:

After receiving your sms, I was praying for you, and Proverbs 3 came to mind! I read through it, and I felt that it would encourage you in your current situation now. So.. Here it goes! (:

Proverbs 3

Guidance for the Young

¹ My son, do not forget my law,

But let your heart keep my commands;
² For length of days and long life
And peace they will add to you.
³ Let not mercy and truth forsake you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart,
⁴ And so find favor and high esteem
In the sight of God and man.
⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct^[a] your paths.
⁷ Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the LORD and depart from evil.
⁸ It will be health to your flesh,^[b]
And strength^[c] to your bones.
⁹ Honor the LORD with your possessions,
And with the firstfruits of all your increase;
¹⁰ So your barns will be filled with plenty,
And your vats will overflow with new wine.
¹¹ My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD,
Nor detest His correction;
¹² For whom the LORD loves He corrects,
Just as a father the son in whom he delights.
¹³ Happy is the man who finds wisdom,
And the man who gains understanding;
¹⁴ For her proceeds are better than the profits of silver,
And her gain than fine gold.
¹⁵ She is more precious than rubies,
And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.
¹⁶ Length of days is in her right hand,
In her left hand riches and honor.
¹⁷ Her ways are ways of pleasantness,
And all her paths are peace.
¹⁸ She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her,
And happy are all who retain her.
¹⁹ The LORD by wisdom founded the earth;
By understanding He established the heavens;
²⁰ By His knowledge the depths were broken up,
And clouds drop down the dew.
²¹ My son, let them not depart from your eyes—
Keep sound wisdom and discretion;
²² So they will be life to your soul
And grace to your neck.
²³ Then you will walk safely in your way,
And your foot will not stumble.
²⁴ When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet.
²⁵ Do not be afraid of sudden terror,
Nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes;
²⁶ For the LORD will be your confidence,
And will keep your foot from being caught.
²⁷ Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,
When it is in the power of your hand to do so.
²⁸ Do not say to your neighbor,

“ Go, and come back,
And tomorrow I will give it,”
When you have it with you.
²⁹ Do not devise evil against your neighbor,
For he dwells by you for safety’s sake.
³⁰ Do not strive with a man without cause,
If he has done you no harm.
³¹ Do not envy the oppressor,
And choose none of his ways;
³² For the perverse person is an abomination to the LORD,
But His secret counsel is with the upright.
³³ The curse of the LORD is on the house of the wicked,
But He blesses the home of the just.
³⁴ Surely He scorns the scornful,
But gives grace to the humble.
³⁵ The wise shall inherit glory,
But shame shall be the legacy of fools.

May the Lord pour out His wisdom upon you, Val! That the words that you speak will be of pleasantness and lead you in paths of peace (vs 17), that you will walk safely and will not stumble (vs 23), that you shall not fear (vs 24) and you will get good rest at night when you go to bed (vs 24). God will be your confidence, your strength, your shield, the One who Upholds you in this time of "sudden terror" (vs 25-26).

May you display mercy and truth to those around you, those involved in Pharmville, those who haven't been involved in Pharmville, to your friends and co-workers who have helped you out with the booths, printing of stuff, logistics, etc that in so doing, you may find favour with God and high esteem in the sight of man (vs 3-4). May you grant forgiveness to those who have hurt you in this entire process (vs 29), resting your heart and your hurt in the fact that God has forgiven you for your sins, and shown you grace by His blood! God gives grace to those who are humble (vs 34) and He will lift your humble heart up in due time!

It's a painful time, but the struggle is also an opportunity for growth! (: God is singing His love over you right this minute!

from me:

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww thanks kayee!yupyup reading it was very encouraging indeed, and definitely filled with reminders that i should meditate over day and night so that i will not succumb to hatred and sadness!

you know, the sunday i talked to weepin, i told him that i actually accepted all this as what God wanted to put me through in order to test me, to strengthen me, to increase my faith in Him and for me to depend on Him more, since i've always been pretty strong headed and independent.

i think God has always known me as someone who takes pride in my work (sometimes overly prideful) and i think that although recently i've started to become more humble about my achievements when i look at those around me who are way better, and i learn how to be more thankful for whatever i have or achieved, i think that pharmville is too big an event and too successful(not that im saying it's really good but relatively too successful for my pride) for God to allow me to receive all the good comments alone, because the temptation to be arrogant with a swelling head would be too much for me to resist.

Hence God threw me a splurry of trouble for me to deal with. He let me finally know for myself how bad my PR skills were, how much mistakes were made behind my success, although i glorified Him with the success, i've also shamed His name with my actions and words. That left me initially feeling whether this event and ambition was all worth it, and feeling very affected by all the comments, but i have to thank God for this valuable lesson of true humility and utter reliance on Him to walk through the deep valleys. Everytime i feel that Lord, i can't take it anymore! He will always send the Holy spirit to work in me, that i may understand why God put me through all these tests. Although we are not qualified to speak for God and His actions, it is the lesson that i've learnt through this test that His has put me through and i can only give thanks for Pharmville to point me out to my mistakes, rather than not knowing it ever for life.

It also help me to learn a lesson of forgiveness and peace. in dealing with so many negative feedback, i couldnt help but feel indignant and untruths that were said against me. but after the initial wave of anger i would still reflect on what was mentioned to see things from others point of view. and i actually dont hold it against these people and i really want to patch up the strained relationships!so thank God for working in my heart, i was reminded of the Lord's prayer, that forgive my sins as we forgive those who sin against us. so let bygones be bygones(:

and with God's testing, comes with God's guidance and grace. despite all the negative comments, i've also very caring friends like you jiahui weepin who stick by me all these while when im going through all these. and also random classmates whom im not THAT close to who will offer words of encouragement and support. These also help keep me sane when i'm about to crash, and yet because of humility that i've learnt i would feel the overwhelming pride that would make me stumble even with these comments.

The talk with weepin also yielded an encouraging comment that made me really happy. In the past i was a person who is quite short-fused and impatient. i flare up quite easily, and although i dont get angry for long but the damage has been done. and i thank God for making me a sensible person that as i grew up, i often reflect on the changes that i shld make to my own character in order to reflect a Godly life, and patience was one thing i learnt with God's help. weepin was commenting that one thing he admired was the fact that i actually have quite a high tolerance for anger, because i learnt to keep my cool even if things werent exactly smooth sailing and i had alot of pressure from him and those working for me. Im not trying to boast here, dont get me wrong, but it's an improvement that i've been working towards to all my life and i finally felt that it was manifested in pharmville. so anger management really was quite a consolation to me and it's a lesson that i'll continue to hold in my heart, hopefully i can maintain it because it feels really good to not add more fuel to fire when everyone is already not exactly in the best moods. so thank God for working this change in my life!

well, just wanted to share with you my whole experience with pharmville. indeed i've learnt alot of lessons from it that i won't forget in an instant and i thank God for shaping this iron rod into a needle and rubbing off my corners through this event. and i'll also continue to work towards words of peace! i wouldn't want to offend anyone really but somehow i always do=( and yup this is the part where i have to meditate on His words!i'll keep proverbs 3 close to my heart!

from kaye:

AWWWWH VALVAL!!!! (:

your email brought a smile to my face!! hahahha.

i was thinking about you in the shower. don't get freaked out, i tend to mull over things in the shower haha! and also thinking about another similar situation happening. and i was thinking.. that what differentiates christians from non christians, is not that we do all the right things. it's not that we say all the right things.

it's that we are honest and up front about our lives, our mistakes, our misgivings, and we dare to confront them, and to overcome them, because Christ has conquered death, because His power is in us, and through it all, our friends and those around us will see the MARVELOUS change that Christ will work in our lives, transforming us more and more to someone who is like Christ!! and this! this transforming act, is testimony of the Living God and what He can do. and this! Will bring more and more to Christ! :D

i recognise that it is a tough time for you valval! (: but i'm heree! and God is here!!! anytime you need to talk / meet up, lemme know! (:

from me:
HAHA YAYY=DD anw i found another passage that i chanced upon when i was doing my BSF homework: Hebrews 12:1-15(:

¹ Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

God Disciplines His Children

⁴ In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. ⁵ And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
⁶ because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”^[a]

⁷ Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? ⁸ If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. ⁹ Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! ¹⁰ They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

¹² Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. ¹³ “Make level paths for your feet,”^[b] so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

Warning and Encouragement

¹⁴ Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. ¹⁵ See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

It's a passage about God's discipline (so apt!). the 1st 3 verses were kind of rebuking me every time i feel indignant about being maligned, and how unworthy i am to think so because Jesus was blamless yet what He went through far surpasses mine!

v5 and 6 just reminds me of God's love through and through(: and not to lose heart!!!

v11 is something i really look forward to if i really did learn my lesson!

and v14-16 is a reminder for us to keep as christian witnesses(:

haha my super summarised gains from this short passage(: i feel God speaking to me from everywhere!even from my BSF notes lol!