You need God’s wisdom for the decisions you face.Perhaps God has placed you in a position of great responsibility,and you feel overwhelmed by the decisions you must make.It may be in your role as parent,or friend,or leader that you long for the wisdom of God.Pray that God will fill you with His Spirit of wisdom so that through the decisions you make you can live your life effectively.I felt very encouraged by Krister's fb status. Although i guess im not really that overwhelmed by my responsibilities now, but i do hope to live my life effectively and happily(: and i hope others will too!

"Give Thy servant an understanding heart to judge Thy people and to know good and evil. So God said to him, 'Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked...'" (1 Kings 3:9-12)
Learn from King Solomon(:

I also saw the following short story in my fellowship's group.
Question: Why doesn’t God answer all of Job’s (and our) questions?

This question assumes that if God answered all our questions, it would be easier to believe. This is not true. Trust goes beyond answers. Sometimes, questions become a way to avoid trust.

Take, for example, a little girl invited to jump off the stairs into her father’s waiting hands. She asks, “Will you catch me, Daddy?” He answers, “Yes, I will!” She may jump or she may proceed to ask endless versions of her first question. If she does jump, it will be more because of whom she knows her father to be than because of his answer to one of her questions. The fact that she jumps does not mean that she has run out of fears or questions; it means that her trust is greater than her fears or questions.

In the end, we must trust God more than our capacity to understand God’s ways. The lesson from Job’s experience does not forbid us from asking questions. Often these questions will lead us to the reasons for our suffering. But Job’s experience also warns us that we may not be able to understand all our suffering all the time, or even any of it some of the time.

God doesn’t answer all of our questions because we are simply unable to understand many of His answers.sometimes it just takes a little trust and faith to take the step fwd(:

today is about the longest time i've spent in church in eons.excluding sundays of course.

on a typical sunday, i would be there at abt 930 to 1230,and till 230 if there's choir.at most 5hours.
today i was in church for..6hours. i guess there were longer periods when i was younger of course, but i kind of amazed myself today haha!

and i must say i enjoy being in God's presence(: i kind of didnt expect myself to type this as well cos i was just going to say what i did in church today. but yeah, i really do! to serve God, to enjoy fellowship with my brothers and sisters, and to listen to all the sharing, be it from the speakers or from my friends. it corrects my way of thinking, it made me think about issues deeper, it gave me a chance to share with all honest sincerity my struggles and listen to that of others, it humbled me to see how these brothers and sisters whom i grew up with mature in thought and spiritually.

i was a lost sheep, but am found. not that i have left God, but i have left this fellowship for a whooping,3yrs?it's complicated, but it's time i come back, no excuses.

being in God's presence, assures me that i will not go astray. placing my trust in Him as my guide, i will not leave the right path. i've been swimming with my own strength for a long time, and i was not astray because He seeks me even when i dont seek Him, but with Him as my buoy, my load is lightened and i find rest and security.

i think it's very easy to throw all the responsibility to God, but i guess that's not it. i still have to play my part as God's child. but i can worry less, because no one is left out of God's sovereignty and i just have to trust Him for everything(:

oh, when i was sharing abt my devotion life today, i was reminded of my progress so far, definitely not a smooth one since i started, but it was encouraging to hear everyone's struggles and there was kind of a sense of acknowledgement and recognition and bond of some sort being formed. i love sharings! you'll never know who may just make an impact on ur life and who's life you may make an impact on!

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her". ♥

wow i love this quote.
perhaps im not at that stage yet,
but it's a good direction for me now.
since i've already decided to date no man but christians,
this has to be it, if not i'll be not here nor there,
and that really defeats the ultimate aim.

i read my bible study notes today and i reflected on my life:


God quietly looks on from His dwelling place, watching His purposes for the nation unfold. Have you ever wondered how your frenzied activities and desperate alliances look to God as He views them from His dwelling place?

Sometimes i see myself as a superhero girl, no matter what happens at home, at school, wherever, i can always come out with the solution to things and make things right. When troubles come, being the efficient me, immediately i will troubleshoot it with my own strength and wits if it is within my means, and think of all means and ways to make it right. I take up 139585025 things each sem, knowing somehow i can juggle everything and handle my core responsibilities as student and children at the same time. All the time i busied myself with the 109342383 things, God just sits there in his big arm chair, and prob look at the sweating, flustered, troubled me with amusement.

maybe it's time to take a break. i've always said that but it never happens to me. perhaps because if i were to one day drop all my activities, i would find out how empty and meaningless my life is.

So it says in Ecclesiastes 1:2
“Meaningless! Meaningless!”
says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.”

we always like to use this verse in a joking manner,
more so in the analogy of sour grapes.
when we can't get something in life,
we console ourselves saying,
aiya, meaningless! meaningless! it's okay!

perhaps the reason why i never took it seriously,
or rather, view it in another perception.

i struggle, with knowing all these and the futility of my flustered life, and also my physical need being part of this world. it is never easy to draw the line or strike a perfect balance. i think i would be happier if i had the true peace and true happiness from God, but the inertia to push myself past that line!

In Ecclesiastes 3:11, Solomon actually puts his finger on why happiness is so elusive: He says, "God has set eternity in the hearts of men." We're made for something that will last forever, and nothing that doesn't last forever will ever fill the hole in our heart. In fact, we were made for a personal relationship with God, the only One who's big enough to fill that hole because that hole was made for Him.

there, everything points towards the need of every human, to fill our hole with the eternal. seek ye 1st the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be given unto you. this is the answer to balance i guess. God is not asking us to give up on this life or our physical needs, but to rearrange our priorities such that we can gain true peace and happiness and enjoy the life God has given us. but humans like me are just to short sighted, and despite knowing all these and having constant reminders, it really isnt that easy to have a paradigm shift especially when life seems pretty good now. and hence the 2nd passage in the devotion gave me the answer:

God called His people to believe in Him, but when they preferred security by association with people in the world, He sometimes removed their false security so that, undistracted, they would trust Him again.

i kind of things that's what's happening to me now. people only cry for help when they're in trouble. in good times, they will grow proud and complacent and forget their benefactor. the more prideful and the more power and knowledge you have, the harder it is to bring you down to a point where you would cry for help. so God removed all my false securities. my friends, my family, my achievements, my pride, etc. He humbled me (although i've a long way to go to be truly humble), He made me cry out to Him more than ever, He made me realise my iniquities. but God never stops there. He will be the one carrying me through. where you used to see 2 sets of footprints, now there's only one. because He'll carry me through.

all these are my reflections for pv!im too lazy to filter and i don't think there's anything to hide, so here it is:

from kaye:Hello Val! (:

After receiving your sms, I was praying for you, and Proverbs 3 came to mind! I read through it, and I felt that it would encourage you in your current situation now. So.. Here it goes! (:

Proverbs 3

Guidance for the Young

¹ My son, do not forget my law,

But let your heart keep my commands;
² For length of days and long life
And peace they will add to you.
³ Let not mercy and truth forsake you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart,
⁴ And so find favor and high esteem
In the sight of God and man.
⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct^[a] your paths.
⁷ Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the LORD and depart from evil.
⁸ It will be health to your flesh,^[b]
And strength^[c] to your bones.
⁹ Honor the LORD with your possessions,
And with the firstfruits of all your increase;
¹⁰ So your barns will be filled with plenty,
And your vats will overflow with new wine.
¹¹ My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD,
Nor detest His correction;
¹² For whom the LORD loves He corrects,
Just as a father the son in whom he delights.
¹³ Happy is the man who finds wisdom,
And the man who gains understanding;
¹⁴ For her proceeds are better than the profits of silver,
And her gain than fine gold.
¹⁵ She is more precious than rubies,
And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.
¹⁶ Length of days is in her right hand,
In her left hand riches and honor.
¹⁷ Her ways are ways of pleasantness,
And all her paths are peace.
¹⁸ She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her,
And happy are all who retain her.
¹⁹ The LORD by wisdom founded the earth;
By understanding He established the heavens;
²⁰ By His knowledge the depths were broken up,
And clouds drop down the dew.
²¹ My son, let them not depart from your eyes—
Keep sound wisdom and discretion;
²² So they will be life to your soul
And grace to your neck.
²³ Then you will walk safely in your way,
And your foot will not stumble.
²⁴ When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet.
²⁵ Do not be afraid of sudden terror,
Nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes;
²⁶ For the LORD will be your confidence,
And will keep your foot from being caught.
²⁷ Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,
When it is in the power of your hand to do so.
²⁸ Do not say to your neighbor,

“ Go, and come back,
And tomorrow I will give it,”
When you have it with you.
²⁹ Do not devise evil against your neighbor,
For he dwells by you for safety’s sake.
³⁰ Do not strive with a man without cause,
If he has done you no harm.
³¹ Do not envy the oppressor,
And choose none of his ways;
³² For the perverse person is an abomination to the LORD,
But His secret counsel is with the upright.
³³ The curse of the LORD is on the house of the wicked,
But He blesses the home of the just.
³⁴ Surely He scorns the scornful,
But gives grace to the humble.
³⁵ The wise shall inherit glory,
But shame shall be the legacy of fools.

May the Lord pour out His wisdom upon you, Val! That the words that you speak will be of pleasantness and lead you in paths of peace (vs 17), that you will walk safely and will not stumble (vs 23), that you shall not fear (vs 24) and you will get good rest at night when you go to bed (vs 24). God will be your confidence, your strength, your shield, the One who Upholds you in this time of "sudden terror" (vs 25-26).

May you display mercy and truth to those around you, those involved in Pharmville, those who haven't been involved in Pharmville, to your friends and co-workers who have helped you out with the booths, printing of stuff, logistics, etc that in so doing, you may find favour with God and high esteem in the sight of man (vs 3-4). May you grant forgiveness to those who have hurt you in this entire process (vs 29), resting your heart and your hurt in the fact that God has forgiven you for your sins, and shown you grace by His blood! God gives grace to those who are humble (vs 34) and He will lift your humble heart up in due time!

It's a painful time, but the struggle is also an opportunity for growth! (: God is singing His love over you right this minute!

from me:

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww thanks kayee!yupyup reading it was very encouraging indeed, and definitely filled with reminders that i should meditate over day and night so that i will not succumb to hatred and sadness!

you know, the sunday i talked to weepin, i told him that i actually accepted all this as what God wanted to put me through in order to test me, to strengthen me, to increase my faith in Him and for me to depend on Him more, since i've always been pretty strong headed and independent.

i think God has always known me as someone who takes pride in my work (sometimes overly prideful) and i think that although recently i've started to become more humble about my achievements when i look at those around me who are way better, and i learn how to be more thankful for whatever i have or achieved, i think that pharmville is too big an event and too successful(not that im saying it's really good but relatively too successful for my pride) for God to allow me to receive all the good comments alone, because the temptation to be arrogant with a swelling head would be too much for me to resist.

Hence God threw me a splurry of trouble for me to deal with. He let me finally know for myself how bad my PR skills were, how much mistakes were made behind my success, although i glorified Him with the success, i've also shamed His name with my actions and words. That left me initially feeling whether this event and ambition was all worth it, and feeling very affected by all the comments, but i have to thank God for this valuable lesson of true humility and utter reliance on Him to walk through the deep valleys. Everytime i feel that Lord, i can't take it anymore! He will always send the Holy spirit to work in me, that i may understand why God put me through all these tests. Although we are not qualified to speak for God and His actions, it is the lesson that i've learnt through this test that His has put me through and i can only give thanks for Pharmville to point me out to my mistakes, rather than not knowing it ever for life.

It also help me to learn a lesson of forgiveness and peace. in dealing with so many negative feedback, i couldnt help but feel indignant and untruths that were said against me. but after the initial wave of anger i would still reflect on what was mentioned to see things from others point of view. and i actually dont hold it against these people and i really want to patch up the strained relationships!so thank God for working in my heart, i was reminded of the Lord's prayer, that forgive my sins as we forgive those who sin against us. so let bygones be bygones(:

and with God's testing, comes with God's guidance and grace. despite all the negative comments, i've also very caring friends like you jiahui weepin who stick by me all these while when im going through all these. and also random classmates whom im not THAT close to who will offer words of encouragement and support. These also help keep me sane when i'm about to crash, and yet because of humility that i've learnt i would feel the overwhelming pride that would make me stumble even with these comments.

The talk with weepin also yielded an encouraging comment that made me really happy. In the past i was a person who is quite short-fused and impatient. i flare up quite easily, and although i dont get angry for long but the damage has been done. and i thank God for making me a sensible person that as i grew up, i often reflect on the changes that i shld make to my own character in order to reflect a Godly life, and patience was one thing i learnt with God's help. weepin was commenting that one thing he admired was the fact that i actually have quite a high tolerance for anger, because i learnt to keep my cool even if things werent exactly smooth sailing and i had alot of pressure from him and those working for me. Im not trying to boast here, dont get me wrong, but it's an improvement that i've been working towards to all my life and i finally felt that it was manifested in pharmville. so anger management really was quite a consolation to me and it's a lesson that i'll continue to hold in my heart, hopefully i can maintain it because it feels really good to not add more fuel to fire when everyone is already not exactly in the best moods. so thank God for working this change in my life!

well, just wanted to share with you my whole experience with pharmville. indeed i've learnt alot of lessons from it that i won't forget in an instant and i thank God for shaping this iron rod into a needle and rubbing off my corners through this event. and i'll also continue to work towards words of peace! i wouldn't want to offend anyone really but somehow i always do=( and yup this is the part where i have to meditate on His words!i'll keep proverbs 3 close to my heart!

from kaye:

AWWWWH VALVAL!!!! (:

your email brought a smile to my face!! hahahha.

i was thinking about you in the shower. don't get freaked out, i tend to mull over things in the shower haha! and also thinking about another similar situation happening. and i was thinking.. that what differentiates christians from non christians, is not that we do all the right things. it's not that we say all the right things.

it's that we are honest and up front about our lives, our mistakes, our misgivings, and we dare to confront them, and to overcome them, because Christ has conquered death, because His power is in us, and through it all, our friends and those around us will see the MARVELOUS change that Christ will work in our lives, transforming us more and more to someone who is like Christ!! and this! this transforming act, is testimony of the Living God and what He can do. and this! Will bring more and more to Christ! :D

i recognise that it is a tough time for you valval! (: but i'm heree! and God is here!!! anytime you need to talk / meet up, lemme know! (:

from me:
HAHA YAYY=DD anw i found another passage that i chanced upon when i was doing my BSF homework: Hebrews 12:1-15(:

¹ Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

God Disciplines His Children

⁴ In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. ⁵ And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
⁶ because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”^[a]

⁷ Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? ⁸ If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. ⁹ Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! ¹⁰ They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

¹² Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. ¹³ “Make level paths for your feet,”^[b] so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

Warning and Encouragement

¹⁴ Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. ¹⁵ See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

It's a passage about God's discipline (so apt!). the 1st 3 verses were kind of rebuking me every time i feel indignant about being maligned, and how unworthy i am to think so because Jesus was blamless yet what He went through far surpasses mine!

v5 and 6 just reminds me of God's love through and through(: and not to lose heart!!!

v11 is something i really look forward to if i really did learn my lesson!

and v14-16 is a reminder for us to keep as christian witnesses(:

haha my super summarised gains from this short passage(: i feel God speaking to me from everywhere!even from my BSF notes lol!

power verses that i like, to put it in a very childish manner:

John 15:12-13, "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (NIV)

1 John 3:16a, "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us." (NIV)

Romans 5:5, "And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." (NLT)

1 John 4:8, "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." (NIV)

God constantly pursues us with His love.


Despite their sin,
Adam and Eve didn't leave Eden empty handed.
They left with garments lovingly made for them by God. (Genesis 3:21)

Despite their disobedience,
God commanded the Israelites to built the makeshift tabernacle wherever they went,
so that He can reside amongst them.
For when the tabernacle was built,
it was so filled with God's glory that people could not enter. (Exodus 40)

When the Israelites had a land of their own,
instead of the temporary tabernacle,
the Holy temple was built by Solomon.
Where the Lord could reside permanently.(1 Kings 6-8)

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son,
so that who ever believes will be saved and have eternal life. (John 3:16)
God came to earth and pursued us,
all the way to the grave when He died for us on the cross.
Amazing love.

3days later, He rose again and will be with all of us once again,
in heaven.

God never gives up on us.
His love endures forever.

Jonah 4:9a, "But God said to Jonah, ‘Do you have a right to be angry about the vine?'"

i guess this is the best verse that i can stumble across in the devotion today.
because like Jonah,
i've been angry about things that were not from me.
He was angry that a vine provided by God for shade was gone the next day.
I was angry that i didnt get to do a part of the dance i got to do the week before.
To pass the auditions, was already grace given by God through my instructor.
yet i was greedy enough to want to dance more parts.
i wouldn't say im totally undeserving of the extra parts,
but it would do to be more contented about what i currently have.
to be truthful, i guess she hasnt really placed me at the back for everything
so i've got to be more thankful really.

and to have a more humble heart.

The first chapter of corrie ten boom's amazing love.

Plans.human hearts are amazingly alike.

It was about her deepest suffering in a Nazi concentration camp.
And amidst the suffering, there was a true and living God.
Whose reality is greater than the reality of the suffering.
When she was released, she started her ministry everywhere.
Seeing people with the same need - Jesus Christ.
That we should rely not on our own understanding,
and He will show you the way.
By faith we see reality.
By faith we trust.
and that's why God uses her to help people who know far more than her.

Many times when we face temptations and suffering,
we feel that the Lord is not there and that we're all alone.
It reminds me of the story, footprints in the sand.
Where there was only one set of footprints when the man was undergoing a rough patch.
Naturally the first reaction we as depraved man will always have
would be to blame God and whine to God
Why God, You aren't there when we need You the most?
and God would tenderly reply,
I am, I'm here always, carrying you in My loving arms.
In our deepest darkest suffering,
God is always there to protect us, to comfort us.
and it's an experience we'll never have if suffering never occurred to us.
That His presence overwhelms the suffering.

and everyone needs Christ.
Although I'm still kind of struggling with this.
Even though i personally felt God's guidance and protection in my life always,
I always wondered why i would think i will never be a christian if i wasnt born one,
that sometimes in my life i can just do without Him.
and that my spiritual life will always go up and down.
and how im still not very convinced about how i should treat foreigners even after that long discussion in vcf. like i just dont feel the urge to see them in a different light.

Corrie said, believe the word in a child-like manner,
do not rely on your own understanding when you read the bible.
i guess this struck me most when i read bible passages.
given the fact that God granted me a little bit of wit,
i tend to pick up things fast and try to interpret the passages in my own way,
sometimes not picking up the true message of the passages that God really wants me to know.

Although i have many doubts uncleared,
and sometimes i feel that im straying away.
But i thank God for the faith He gave me,
for no matter what happens I still am a christian
and not leave church because of my doubts and other issues.
That i know i'll never leave God completely even if i forget His presence in my daily life.

I also know the importance of having a humble heart.
Blessed are those who are poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Given that im a person of pride,
i think it took me a long time to learn that there are many who are way better than me out there.
that there was nothing to boast about my success or results etc.
but i still tend to feel prideful when i do well.
But it is something that God detest.
and corrie showed that God use those who are humble.
maybe that's why He doesnt use me that much now.
because after i serve i look out for praise.
because when im serving i worry if i played well
not because i wanted to glorify God but for my own glory.
deep down in my heart i know i dont put glorifying God as the priority although i would give the excuse that yes it's one of the factor.
Such depraved scumbags are we!

Conclusion: we really do need God.

the 1st two days of the new year werent too good.
firstly i have a sickening sore throat that makes me feel malaise
and a blocked nose and probably a suppressed fever due to panadol taking for mthly discomfort.
and i couldnt sleep.

which kind of turned me into a badtempered monster.
it was all i could do to suppress it and not flare up.
and worse thing is it's my family members that upset me.

i dont think anyone really realised i was sick,
i dont really want to tell them cos they'll only nag abt how late i sleep everyday
they dont realised i've suddenly been taking aftn naps because im really not feeling well
they buy dinner for themselves without me
they ask me to settle my own dinner FIRST and then SHUNBIAN fetch them home
seriously i think i could have settled my dinner more efficiently by doing it myself
than to call them and get myself into more trouble.

i think no one but a christian can handle this.
well,im not saying i handled it particularly well
because im indeed very upset.
but at least i know that's a God who looks after me.
who made me pretty independent so that at least i can look after myself.
and who cares for me like he cares for the birds in the sky and the flowers in the field.
if not i would have been even more upset,
like i wasnt wanted anymore.

Thank God and glory be to Him.